


Sweet Dreams

by FluffySax



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers Tower, Boys In Love, First Time, Fluff, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Sleeping Together, Smut, steve helps bucky when he has a nightmare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 08:37:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16364537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffySax/pseuds/FluffySax
Summary: Steve wakes up to find Bucky suffering from another bad nightmare. When he goes to soothe him, he doesn't expect Bucky to take the step Steve had been dreaming of taking for decades.





	Sweet Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> A little something I wrote when I should have been doing more pressing things. Oh well, I'm only human.
> 
> I apologize in advance, I never intended to make this so sad, that just kind of happened. I hope I made up for it at the end though ;)
> 
> Beta'd by @TooBusyForThisShit and [ @Noenie ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noenie/pseuds/Noenie), thank you!
> 
> Enjoy!

“No! No, please _._ No, don’t! I can’t, _please_ …”

Steve sat up straight in his bed. He’d been vast asleep just a second ago, but Bucky’s heaving and crying cut through him and hit him like ice water.

Throwing a quick glance at the small clock on his nightstand – it read 3:00 AM – he stumbled out of bed in a hurry to cross the limited distance to where Bucky was without a doubt having a severe nightmare – like he had so many other nights.

Steve had felt like such a bad friend when he first found out about Bucky’s bad dreams. He’d spent the night out with Sam and was walking down to his suite in the Avengers compound. As he’d walked past Bucky’s place he’d heard a soft sobbing and he’d stopped dead in his track. He’d gone in, knowing Bucky would be okay with the violation of his privacy - after all they’d shared the same small space together for years before the war – and had seen Bucky like that for the first time.

The next morning he’d asked Bucky about it, but he hadn’t been willing to talk. He had, however, agreed to Steve’s proposal to move in with Steve. Steve had a spare room in his suite and that way there would always be someone to help Bucky get back to reality whenever his cruel memories hit him at night.

He’d moved in the very next day.

Most of the time, Steve would only find out in the morning when Bucky had had a nightmare. He would quietly walk into Bucky’s room to wake him up like he did every morning – the past had proven Bucky would, from reflex, crush every ringing alarm when it went off. When Bucky had had a good night’s sleep, he would not be too hard to wake up. Steve would whisper soft words and nudge Bucky in a way he knew wouldn’t in any way scare the sleeping man. Bucky usually whispered a soft complain about not wanting to get out of bed which Steve ignored – even though he wanted nothing more than to join Bucky in bed right there and then and stay there until the evening came again, so they could stay in bed even longer.

But Steve noticed when Bucky had once again been a victim to his past and memory; the changes were significant. Sometimes Bucky would be wide awake when Steve walked in with the intent to wake him up. He would try to play it off by attempting to joke that the birds had woken him, but the dark red circles of exhaustion and tear stains – sometimes his skin would still be wet – gave him away. Steve knew he always looked so full of concern whenever that happened and he knew Bucky hated it when he worried over him. It might explain why sometimes Bucky would pretend to be asleep, only for Steve to see through his demeanour due to the slight unusual hitch in breathing of the man on the bed.

Other times Steve noticed Bucky had had a nightmare when he saw the wet spots on the bed around Bucky’s head. Bucky would be in a deep sleep and he would look peaceful, but if you looked a little longer you’d see the from tears lumped lashes on Bucky’s closed eyes and Steve would feel his heart get torn into pieces at the thought of Bucky having spent the night agonizing and eventually falling asleep from exhaustion.

Steve never forced him to talk. Usually, Bucky would play pretend and act as if nothing happened – much to Steve’s frustration and worry – but sometimes he shyly asked Steve to spend the day together and stay in. Steve would make him tea and they’d watch movies and play games. Bucky never made an attempt to talk about his nights, but at least he asked for Steve’s help in some way. And Steve was more than happy to give Bucky his help. In fact, he would give his best friend anything in the world. All he needed to do was ask for it.

Steve opened the door to Bucky’s room which was next to his and his heart stopped beating at the sight in front of him; thick tears leaked from Bucky’s closed eyes and a layer a sweat covered his entire body. He was fighting with the sheets on the bed, some limbs tangled in the fabric and desperately trying to get loose. His mouth was opened slightly and wrecked cries and sobs fell out.

He couldn’t get to Bucky’s bed quickly enough, softly planting a knee on the comforter next to Bucky’s hip and steadying himself with one foot on the ground. He leaned in slightly and whispered, “Bucky? Hey Buck, it’s me, Steve. You’re okay. You’re safe here.”

Bucky only let out a louder cry and started slamming his arms – both flesh and metal – on the mattress and clasped the sheets.

Steve tried again, this time slightly louder, but no less of a whisper. “Bucky. Buck, hey it’s me.” Steve moved a hesitant hand towards Bucky’s – his metal one. He knew from experience that Bucky had no intent of hurting Steve but that he wasn't in control of his body whenever he was in such a bad state (it painfully reminded Steve of other times that had happened). But Steve was not afraid of his best friend – never had been and never would be.

He kept repeating Bucky’s name in combination with his own and other soothing words, while he took Bucky’s hand in his with the gentlest of movements. He squeezed with even more caution and whispered the repetition of words. Any other person would have woken Bucky with a rough shake, but Steve knew that would only make it worse. It was the rough and inhumane treatment Bucky kept experiencing – recalling from his time as the Winter Soldier – that made him lose himself in his sleep. He needed gentleness more than anything when he eventually woke up from it.

After a few more agonizing minutes of watching Bucky suffer like he did, the hand Steve was holding started to move under his. Without turning towards Steve or opening his eyes, Bucky squeezed his hand so tightly around Steve’s, he was sure a non-enhanced person’s hand would have broken. Steve didn’t care about the pain and squeezed right back.

“Bucky, it’s okay. You’re with me.”

“Don’t leave. Please don’t leave, Steve,” Bucky croaked. His voice was so soft and hoarse that Steve barely picked up the sound, even with his enhanced hearing. Bucky still had his eyes closed and still moved around as frantically as he had been for the last God knows how many minutes.

“Never, Buck. I would never leave you,” Steve whispered back, tears pooling in his eyes. “Bucky, please wake up.”

“Please, _please._ Don’t leave.” Bucky’s uncontrolled motions started to fade, his body coming to a rest except for the uneven rising and falling of his chest from the heavy breathing.

“Till the end of the line, pal,” Steve said softly, the first tears rolling over his smooth cheeks. It hurt too damn much to see his best friend – his oldest and closest friend he was also in love with so much it hurt – experience such agony right in front of his eyes. The thought of all the drama and traumatic experiences Bucky had had to go through made Steve sick. But it was so much worse that now, when Bucky was safe, he had to relive them every night.

“Till the end of the line, jerk,” Bucky whispered, the last word impossibly softer.

His eyes slowly opened and Steve couldn’t help but launch forward immediately and pull his best friend in the tightest hug he’d had in years – maybe ever. Bucky’s back was still on the mattress as Steve was half on top of him and half next to him. But neither of them seemed to care about the past-friendship intimacy of their hug and clasped at each other even harder.

Steve’s face was buried in Bucky’s neck as he carefully petted his best friend’s hair. “It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re safe, baby,” Steve whispered without thinking, just acting on automatic pilot to soothe Bucky in the best way possible. He froze at his last word – _baby._ No, no, no! They never called each other that – they weren’t like that, even though Steve wanted it so bad. He’d never shown it, could never put that kind of pressure or awkwardness on Bucky. This was so not a good time to start a conversation like that.

“Sorry. I- uhm – I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry-”

“No, Steve,” it sounded so sad and desperate when Bucky’s emotion loaded voice croaked, “Please, don’t take it back.”

“Buck?”

“Don’t take it back, Stevie. I want you to call me that.”

Bucky turned his head slightly to meet Steve’s eyes. They were insecure and so full of uncertainty. He looked so vulnerable Steve could barely speak.

“Okay, Buck.”

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you stay the night?”

“Of course. Always, Buck. Anything for you.”

When Steve intended to get up and get his pillow and his covers to sleep on the ground next to Bucky's bed, the latter stopped him.

“Can you?” he asked shyly with such vulnerability it broke Steve’s heart all over again while tapping the mattress next to where he lied.

Steve nodded and climbed into the bed next to Bucky who was wearing nothing but boxer briefs he noticed when Bucky lifted the covers for Steve to get in – _not right now, Steve_.

They nestled into the soft comforter together, Bucky’s back to Steve’s chest, but not quite touching. Steve held his hands to himself and focused on Bucky’s breathing, which was already so much slower and more in control than just minutes earlier.

Minutes passed. Slow, serene and peaceful minutes spent in each other’s safe presence. Steve felt his eyelids hanging heavily and started to give into his exhaustion when Bucky spoke. Again it was soft and uncertain, but Steve had no problem understanding him now considering the minimal distance between them.

“I close my eyes, and they- they’re right there, Steve. I’m back in that,” his breath hitched, “that chair.”

Steve held his breath.

“I feel constricted from moving like I’m really there. It feels so…real.” Bucky took in a sharp breath, and Steve knew he was crying again. “It scares me. It scares me so bad, Steve.”

“I know, baby,” Steve whispered back. He slowly slid a hand up Bucky’s arm and grazed the metal plates to move upwards to Bucky’s neck and then his cheek. When Steve moved over the rigid scar tissue onto the flesh, Bucky shivered. A soft hum escaped his mouth.

Steve caressed Bucky’s cheek with his soft thumb and moved in the tiniest bit. Suddenly Bucky turned around, slowly and thought-through. Their faces were only inches apart and Steve could see all of Bucky’s imperfections that made him even more perfect to Steve. He could see the full plush lips – though he averted his eyes from them a millisecond later. He then met Bucky’s eyes. They were watery from tears and surrounded by redness, but they looked…hopeful?

Steve withdrew his hand, but Bucky took hold of it and placed it right back on his face with precision and care. He covered it with his own flesh hand and closed it, letting out a long breath that tickled against Steve’s skin.

When he opened those beautiful deep blue and grey eyes again, he instantly moved in even closer. Bucky moved his hand from Steve’s and onto Steve’s cheek, holding it carefully. He met Steve’s eyes again and looked questioningly. Steve was about to ask if Bucky was okay, when the same man moved his gaze from Steve’s eyes to his lips. It was just a second and they were back, but Steve noticed. Of course he noticed, he’d imagined it countless times in his dreams. Because while Bucky dreamed of being captured all over again, Steve dreamed of kissing his best friend. It wasn’t fair, but Steve couldn’t help himself; he’d fallen way too hard decades ago.

Bucky’s breathing grew heavier as he shuffled ever closer, his legs brushing against Steve’s. Steve let out a soft gasp at the contact.

Their eyes were locked when Bucky closed the last inch between them, grazing his soft lips gently over Steve’s. The kiss was short and sweet, but the best Steve had ever had, because it was Bucky. It had always been Bucky.

Steve’s eyes had fallen closed but he opened them when Bucky moved back slightly. It could have been Steve’s imagination or wishful thinking, but he swore he saw some of the old Bucky back in those eyes – the one that could seduce a woman by solely blinking his pretty eyes.

There was nothing wrong with the Bucky he knew these days – God, he hadn’t been more thrilled or excited when they’d reunited. Not Steve and The Winter Soldier, that wasn’t his best friend. No, he meant when they got _Bucky_ back. Though, sometimes Steve wished Bucky would be more like the past. Not because he liked him better then – he loved Bucky just as much, if not impossibly more, now as he had back then – but because he knew Bucky loved the old one better than the present one. He knew Bucky had been happier before the war and Steve’s only ever wish was that Bucky could feel like that again; careless and…free.

This time Steve moved, cupping Bucky’s cheek with a little more determination as he shuffled to get their bodies flush against each other again before moving his lips back to Bucky’s – where they belonged. Neither of them held back this time; it was clear what they both wanted and longed for so badly at that moment. But still, the kiss was slow and controlled; it suited the peaceful and calm atmosphere of the moment. They deepened the kiss, but there was no rush. Both men let out a soft moan when Steve touched Bucky’s lower lip with his tongue asking for permission to deepen their kiss even more. Bucky met him halfway and whimpered at the feeling of their tongues touching.

Steve hauled himself up and moved over Bucky, bracing himself on his arms that he positioned on both sides of Bucky’s head.

“Is this okay?” he whispered.

“So much better than okay.”

Steve moved down and met his best friend’s mouth again while simultaneously moving his hips down over Bucky’s. He groaned when he felt Bucky through the thin fabric of his boxers.

“ _Steve…_ I need you.”

“I’m right here, baby.”

Bucky moved his flesh hand under Steve’s sleeping shirt, but hesitated with his metal one.

“You can touch me, Buck,” Steve assured him, kissing him again.

“I could hurt you…”

“You won’t. I trust you. You trust me?”

“You know I do, Steve. Always have.”

“Then you don’t need to hold back.”

When Steve moved down again, Bucky grazed the cold metal over Steve’s lower back in synchrony with his flesh hand, making a shiver run down Steve’s spine. They kissed more fiercely now, the passion and lust taking over slightly.

When Bucky tugged at the hem of Steve’s shirt, the latter straightened himself and shoved the fabric over his head to then launch right back into an intense kiss.

When they parted to catch their breaths – even super soldiers needed oxygen every once awhile – Steve couldn’t help but ask. He had to ask. “You sure you want this? You can always say no. You don’t have to if you don’t want-”

Bucky provided an answer by cutting him off and pulling him into another kiss, but whispered, “I’ve wanted this since I was a kid, Stevie,” shortly after.

Taking Steve by surprise, Bucky suddenly switched them around, Bucky now being the one on top. He didn’t waste any time and started pulling back Steve’s sweats. Steve lifted his hips to make the process a little easier and pulled his best friend back on top of him the second his sweats were on the ground next to the bed.

Bucky started grinding down his pelvis with more determination than Steve had done earlier, and both men moaned heavily.

Steve looked in awe as Bucky moved back slightly to pull of his boxer briefs and toss them to the side.

“ _God,_ you’re beautiful.”

Kissing the tip of Steve’s nose, Bucky whispered, “Can I?” as Steve felt Bucky’s fingertips pull slightly on the elastic band of his underwear. Steve answered by lifting his hips and Bucky slowly pulled back the last piece of fabric that covered Steve’s body.

A gasp escaped the man on top. “No, _you’re_ beautiful. Always have been,” he whispered before kissing Steve again, and stopping Steve from arguing.

Bucky moved the kiss from Steve’s mouth to his neck, nibbling at the soft skin there before he moved down. He kissed a trail down Steve’s torso, hovering a second longer over each of Steve’s nipples, before moving down to Steve’s belly button surrounded by rock hard abs. At the same time Bucky’s hands caressed Steve’s lower body, moving from his calves up to his thighs with scrutinizing patience. All Steve could do was give in to his senses and let out shaky breaths and encourage his best friend to continue.

When Bucky’s lips touched the small trail of hair on Steve’s lower belly, he moved up. But so did his hands, grazing at the inside of his thighs, only inches away from his crotch.

Bucky met Steve in another hot kiss and took Steve in his hand.

“ _Ah Buck_ …”

Bucky moved slow at first – never stopping to kiss Steve – but quickened the movement of his flesh hand not long after, bringing Steve to the edge.

Steve would have been ashamed of how fast he came if not for the circumstances they were in; his best friend – who he’d been in love with for decades – was touching him and kissing him like he’d pictured so many times. They had shared their youth and beginning of their adult life together only to be torn apart and then reunited seventy years later. Steve all bulked up and named Captain America, and Bucky traumatised and used by Hydra. The moment was so intimate and passionate; they’d bottled up all their love and affection for each other and it all came out now.

When Steve came down from his high, he turned them around again, being back on top and returning Bucky everything he’d given him. Kissing him feverishly everywhere he could, even his metal arm and especially the scar tissue where flesh met metal. Steve knew Bucky hated his arm, so Steve cherished it with all he had while creeping his hand up higher and higher on Bucky’s thigh, teasing just like Bucky had done.

Bucky came just as quickly as Steve when Steve’s hand surrounded him, moaning and gasping for air. And Steve would fight anyone who argued that Bucky wasn’t possibly the most beautiful thing when he fell apart like that. Steve was without doubt the luckiest man alive.

He moved off of Bucky to pick up his discarded t-shirt and used it to clean them up as much as he could. After that, he moved in the bed next to Bucky again, pulling his back against his chest as tightly as Bucky let him – which was pretty tight. He draped his arm around the man in front of him and rested his hand on Bucky’s flat stomach, drawing small, soothing circles with his fingertips.

He nuzzled his nose in the nape of Bucky’s neck and softly whispered, “You’re the best that ever happened to me, Buck. It wasn’t the serum taking away all my diseases, it wasn’t me becoming captain, or me being a part of the Avengers. It’s you, Buck. It will always be you.”

“You’re a sap,” Bucky snickered, but Steve heard the emotion in his voice.

“Only for you.”

“I love it.”

“I love you.” Steve didn’t even doubt saying it. After what they’d just done, he felt justified to say the words and it felt so good finally saying them after holding them back for decades.

“I love you too, Stevie.”

Steve lifted his head to press a kiss to Bucky’s cheek. “Sweet dreams, baby.”

Bucky drifted off only minutes later and Steve followed him soon after, both sleeping through the night without disturbance.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave a kudo or comment if you liked it! And come join me on [ Tumblr ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fluffysax)


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